Something to know

The first child protecttive agency began in New York was founded in 1874 titled Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (SPCC) in 1874. The SPCC was the first organization to focus on the legal protection of children's rights in the United States. It all began with Mary Ellen.   Who was one our first recognized abused child.  Mary Ellen was a survivor of child abuse who died at the age of 92.  

THE CHILD’S MIND WANDERS

You say that you love me.

You said you will always take care of me.

You tell them I am your pride and joy.

You say that you will do anything to give me the world.

Why won't you take me outside?

Why won't you let me have any friends?

Why am I not in school like all the other children.

Mommy I am hungry, why don't you give me something to eat?

Why do you continue to endure this pain on me?

What did I ever do to deserve the things that you do to me?

Why do you let him keep on hurting?

Why do you allow him to beat you?

Why must I pay for your mistakes?

I never asked to be born.

It was your blessing from up above.

Why didn't you thank him for the life that he has given you?

When I was born, you said you loved me and give me the world.

I always wonder where things went wrong.

I loved you with all my heart, and now we're far apart.

Now you sit there crying.

While I'm in here dying.

You say everything will be alright.....too late...I am losing my sight.

Mommy what's wrong? Are you crying because I am gone?

Inspired for the many that have gone.  Inspired by the many that ACS had failed. 

Random Thoughts

So really I blog because my brain is always thinking and if i post every thought on FB; people would think like I really have diarrhea of the mouth.  Porque ju know my brain be sometimes like on wild ADHD mode.

So like back in the days, I was like wild odee shy.  Like ask my family! LML  I would never talk and just sit in the corner and do me.  Like you had to pull teeth to get something out of me. (Moma Doris  knows).  Now am like the only Social Butterfly and very expressive.  I think I was a turtle trapped in it's shell that has been let out.  Sometimes I think that I be wild bugging with the shit that comes out my mouth.  I am like the happiest hyperlest kid right now. Yea Am Still a KID AT HEART!!  But I ain't gonna front; I still have my shy moments but that is only when I meet someone for the first time.  Although I don't find that when I go into the field.  I think it's because it's my gift.

Ok! so now, let me tell you what's on mind.  So everybody knows I am a CPS and very proud.  Although sometimes I bitch and moan about shit.  I love my job! Why?! Because it's me, it's what I always wanted to do.  Pero ya van cuatro ano's que yo estoy en la misma baina.   Like I am so good at what I do! And as the the days go by; I find myself getting better and better.  Back in 2008, I was a little lost but after going under many of my people's wings; I have developed a lot of skills and grown in the field to the point that work doesn't stress me anymore.  I have learned how to pace myself and maintain myself.  Pero avece la baina que la jente hacen does sometimes get to me; but I be learning to put my feelings aside and do what I gotta do.  I have learned to keep my focus on.   OMG! I am like so proud of myself right now cause I have matured so much since I have entered the agency.  And I must say although I worked over the summer, I maintained a low case load which was something I had difficulties doing when I first started.  But that was because I had no real training and learned everything on my own.   FYI My training supervisor sucked and I am not afraid to say it to her face; therefore I am not afraid to express it here.  (My bill of rights says that I am entitled to FREEDOM OF SPEECH).  And FYI I am not slandering that person because I didn't say her name but I am entitled to express my feelings.  Perate pero I sound like wild guilty right now; oh whatever meng it's truth anyways!

So I enjoyed my summer with my low caseload and ready to tackle the school year.  The reason I say it this way is because it's really during the school year when we get the most cases.  Summer is pretty slow and quiet.

OH! SO! I really feel that I am ready for my own Unit.  In other words, I am ready to be a Supervisor and been ready cause I got mad skills.  Like I really know all the hoopla and what not.  So I be having like the only balls.  So I go to my DD and ask her when can I have my own unit.  She says when I go back to school.  Like I got a Bachelor's in Forensic Psychology and 4 years CPS experience.  What more do they want?! Oh wait she told me.  They want me to have 30 credits towards my Master's in SW; pero y que es esa baina que it gotta be disque in SW.  Like what if I want to study something else?! Oh and on top of that disque que I gotta be a Supervisor Level I before I be promoted to a Supervisor Level II.  Y la baina es que they not even hiring Supervisor Level I's .  You rarely see people getting promoted or hired to SUP I because disque we (The Agency) don't have the money to hire people for Sup I's pero we got people in our own oficina with Master's and what not que are still CPS.

Pero; I don't know.  I don't know if they even tried applying for the position o es que they stuck where they at and what not because sometimes la gencia be with their baina and shit.  Sometimes their hoopla be making me wonder.  Pero yo me quedo con lo mio.  Because at the end of the day I appreciate my job and I love what I do.  But I am definitely going to get my 30 credits and work towards getting my Unit until I become the next Commissioner of NYCCS.   Cause you know that's still my goal.

Oh yea So, back when I first started I was like lost and had no one to assist me and guide me being that my supervisor sucked; so I was forced to learn on my own.  So like 3 years ago I met a trainee and taught her some of the ropes and what not.  Once in a while I check in on her, when of course I am not very busy.  And she seems to be surviving cause she still here.  Anyways that's when it dawned on me that my agency should have like a mentoring program with us who been there long enough can mentor new workers and guide them and show them the ropes.

But a lot of them (other Cps) don't agree.  They feel like it's not our job and we don't get paid for that.  But as far as I can remember no one gets paid to be a mentor that's some volunteer shit.  Diablo pero avese I cuss too much...yo tengo que trabajar en eso.  Anyways so I am going to take initiative to start a mentoring program for new trainees...well more like I already did cause I have two mentees.  It makes me happy that I can help people out; especially out of my own free will and that they appreciate it.  I don't want no one to ever have to feel the way I felt when I first started.

There are some people that might feel some type of way about this blog as they feel some type of way because I hang with my Deputies (cause there are 3 that I roll with) and CPM's and I give my personal cell out to them because we not only colleagues but we're also semi friends! I just want to tell them IDGAF how you feel about how I feel cause this me and this is who I am always gonna be! And to those (colleagues=business) who always telling me that they disque don't mix business with pleasure. Then why yah on my facebook =(pleasure) and shit and why yah be texting=(pleasure)  me on my personal cell?! #JUST SAYING!

Anyways migente....hasta la proxima!  Thanks for reading!

Proud to be me

As a child you never know or never even bother to think of how you want your life to be.   You live life running free without a clue in mind.  Then you hit that certain age when you start to realize that you are growing and you think what do I wanna be.  But then you wanna be this and that! Now you' can't make up your mind! OK! so like yea when I was maybe like 15; I wanted to be a teacher.  But then I realized, the pay wasn't for me and certainly working with a whole bunch of disrespectful teens would put me in jail.  Nah son! By 17; I wanted to be a cop.  I believed I would be one of dique NY's finest! Passed the police exam, entered the academy and punked out after seeing a police officer get shot first day on the job.  Besides after certain incidents that occurred in my life with police involvement I began to dislike them and how could I become something that I dislike.  Shit teenagers can be so indecisive. Oh wait! I was one of those! LML.

So then there was a commercial I saw one day that went like this http://youtu.be/tDfsr1vvqy4 and then there was this acronym that Walton Ave knew; it was called something like BCW...oh wait...it was BCW.  So yeah that's what made me decide I wanted to do something in that field of Social Work!  So I decided to finish my last year of HS.

Then I tried getting into John Jay College and was accepted but unfortunately parents couldn't afford it and financial aid wasn't approved cause big daddy worked for the City! Shit! So I decided to just enjoy my youth until I figured out what to do.  But my determination never stopped...it was just put on pause.   So after enjoying my life and having my beautiful daughter, it was time to turn life back around and show my child that I could become who I wanted to be while still caring for her.  So I applied back to college, got approved for financial aid and went to College! So did my daughter cause she graduated from John Jay College pre-school.  Yea they have child care at the school.  We thought it was pretty cool that both were going to the same school.

So I finally got my B.S in Forensic Psychology in February of 2005 exactly a week after I gave birth to my beautiful baby boy! So yea like my parents say I earned two diploma's that year..LML!  Afterwards I took a couple of BS jobs cause there was a freeze on hiring CPS due to the death of Nixmary Brown.   But I patiently waited and here I am.  I remember when I got the phone call like it was yesterday.

I received the call at work.  My supervisor had picked up the phone and said "ACS is on the phone for you, wtf did you do?"  hahahaha! My response "applied for a CPS position".  Her eyes popped out her socket as well as got teary eyed cause she was happy and proud of me as she knew that this was what I have been yearning to do for a while.  And to them haters there that didn't believe that I would get in and would say ACS will never hire you.  I'm still here bitches and yea My salary is bigger than yours! (oops...)

I have been through so much experiences, trials and tribulations in my life.  And I can YELL AND SAY I AM A SURVIVOR! But I believe that everything in my life happened for a reason.  All that I experienced and encounter is what build my character and made me a stronger and more positive person.  I am grateful for all my experiences good and bad.  Everything is a lesson learned.  I may not be perfect but I am proud to be me.

I will be honest with myself and with others!

Omg it's been like a minute since I have put up a blog! Yea so like I live a busy life, so between, children, hubby, work and parents.  It get's kind of hard to keep up with myself.  Well my children are with my parents until Friday, just got out work and home alone. Like I just bullshitted myself cause I posted on FB that I was going to bed but I am here expressing myself.

So dejame desirle halgo porque aqui en FB y en mi trabajo, sometimes la jente no me entienden.  So let me explain.  I am a very happy and self motivated person.  YEA I do have conversations with myself pero no estoy loca! It's fuking normal, at least that's what my therapist says but sometimes I be feeling like that bitch ain't normal anyways.  But that's besides the point.

At work and on FB I tend express myself verbally etc.  Bueno en FB no es verbally cause that's the net unless you got one of em computer's that read shit aloud and what not.  But anyways there a lot of people that misunderstand me and always questioning me and shit or come up to me and be like "is everything okay cause I saw that FB status that you put up."  Por eso no pongo la cosas que bien vale la pena, ju know like my personal issues and shit.  I only put what I want people to see.  Pero it doesn't mean like am putting it for  attention cause I get enough of that at home and work.  Yea am just that spoiled! I gets love from everywhere.  I just post it to let it out cause I don't like holding feelings inside...like that shit is no bueno meng! It is very unhealthy.  Coming from my back ground, I learned that shit the hard way.  But at least now I am happy that I am open with my feelings to myself and possibly the world...but Ju know what...it's whatever meng; cause todo somos hurmanos y hermanos at that.

Yo but on the real, people be thinking that I am an angry person and although I can completely understand why some would think that, I most def am not.  I am a very happy person and all my real friends know that! I appreciate life, especially mine! Yea shit happens but pero la baina tiene que pasar because if not how are we supposed to learn about life.  Like just because I be posting my feelings don't mean am angry.  I know some be sounding like am angry but really I only post when I get annoyed by something or something ain't sitting right with me.  But in the end it be like whatever meng..YOLO! Ain't nobody perfect in this world, so I just take things as they come and be happy with it.  Life is TOO precious to be wasted on Anger and hatred.

But I ain't gonna front there are times when people and things do get mad.  But that shit be like mad temporary.  I can't stay mad for long...just ask my kids, my supervisor and 310's.  We (my 310's and Sup.) stay be arguing and cussing each other out but at the end of the day we all make up and are there for each other.  That's RNS! But we got a tight bond! As for my kids yea...they abuse me but it be aiight cause I will love them no matter what.  Depues que ellos crescan y hacen bien de su vida, they can abuse me...pero depues de los 20 ano's if they still here and still abusing me then am calling APS. Shit if they can be calling dique ACS for us disciplining why can't we call APS.  Oh shit my bad I went off topic there cause estaba pensando en caso que tengo.  But I'm gonna save that for another blog possibly.

But yea anyways.  Like I just wanna keep it real with migente cause you know ALL you 221 FB friends of mine...I actually know you and have communicated with you one way or another...aunque la mayoria son familia de sangre y adoptiva y los resto son co-workers and all my nikka's from Walton...cause I can't forget THEM! I want YAH to know I really really APPRECIATE everyone of you.  YOU all have been an impact in my life one way or another.  And I know I don't always call, email, text or FB everybody all the time.  Yah always in my thoughts and prayers!

To all my family members YAH know who yah be! I love all of you!
To all my Walton nikka's yah know who yah be...I appreciate our friendship and our family like behaviors. But some of yah Mofo's need to keep in touch cause shit work both ways! I be hitting yah up sometimes and yah nikka's don't be replying so sometimes Nikki Minaj come outta me and I be like eff em they know who I is!
To my 310's that are on my page...yah know who yah be.  I truly appreciate you all and am happy that we all have that wonderful family like relationship we have, even when we talk shit about each other...don't front yah know we do but that's what makes us tight! and I don't care what anybody say.  WE the best MOFO unit! (but that's my opinion) aunque las jente dicen que we the worst!
To all my adopted family members like Moma Doris, Sammy, Alexandra, Kenya etc...thank you for always being who you are.
To my other co-workers (CPS) yah know who yah be.  Thanks for being part of my journey and keeping in true and real.
To my Icequeen, Dr. Phil and Rose- what would I do without your constant guidance and advice.  And thanks for always KEEPING IT REAL WITH ME! and ALWAYS being there when I need yah! Especially my Dr. Phil! I truly appreciate yah and have mad love for yah!

And last but not least! To my very Special Friend Judy Torres....Thank you for being so true and always keeping it real! I truly value our friendship, day by day we learn that we have a lot in common and I believe there is a reason God made us friends.  And although we have only met twice, we have always been there virtually for each other, giving advise, uplifting each other's spirit, sharing information and showing lots of love since our MYSPACE DAYS! LOVE YOU!

With that said...everyone look in the mirror smile, give yourself a pat on the back, throw yourself a kiss and let yourself know that you are special and you are somebody to somebody out there! That's my motto and motivation!

Bueno migente...me fui...hasta next blog!

What do I see

"Where do I look, where do I start, how do I look into my heart?" (Judy Torres)...Looking in the mirror and what do I see?  I see someone who is a 100% naturally ME!  The name is Julie but I like to be called Butterfly.  Today was one of them days I chose to look at myself; I like to do that once in awhile cause I like to always know where I stand and define who I am.  I am the type of person that tends to self analyze, self reflect and self diagnose.  Yea I got a degree in psychology.  Oops! did I say that out loud? Anyways!

There are certain things I learned about myself. Things I need to work on and things I don't.  "I wouldn't want to be anybody else". (Selena Gomez) So I learned that I really like who I am! I have a great personality!  After all that I endured in my life; I love the person I have come to be.  I am very expressive and always speak whats on my mind.  I find myself to be very talented in many ways and often like to share my talents.

Sometimes I tend to talk first and think later but then realize I was right anyway.  I tend to always turn a negative into a positive.  I am the type of person that doesn't look back but keeps moving forward.  No one is perfect that is why I always learn from my mistakes.  These are the things we call life's lessons learned.  I am never afraid of who I am.

I am very optimistic and like to think outside the box.  I like to joke around.  I often find myself blurting out at work, "how can I think outside the box if I work in a cubicle!".  Sometimes you can't take this job too serious; otherwise you will loose it.  Only another CPS will understand what I mean.

Sometimes I strive to be the perfect person, friend, family member etc.  But I accept my imperfections.  If not than who would I be.  I am happy most when I make someone else happy. I like to loose myself in my thoughts and let it all out when the time is right...just like now.

I enjoy living life and never scared to try anything new.  I am very enthusiastic and always eager to learn new things. I am innovative, creative and a woman all my own.

I am proud of the person that I am and this is what I see!

Hope you enjoyed! Until the next one!  :-)

Butterfly

It's whatever Meng!

My Name is Julie Rodriguez; prefer to be called Butterfly.  So what if I ain't got wings and don't fly! That's just what I like to be called...RESPECT that shit!  I am the type of person that likes to speak freely and share what's on my mind.  Some say I can be very expressive.  Oh well that's just who I be.  Sometimes it can get me into trouble but oh well It's whatever Meng!  As long as I let out what I was feeling at the moment and it no longer bothers me.  It's whatever Meng!

I am the type of person that loves freely.  But if you ain't got no love for me, then it's whatever Meng! Keep it moving.  I am the type of person that likes to be surrounded by love ones.  But if you choose to not stick around,  then it's whatever Meng!  I am the type of person that likes to make friends.  I like to keep it a 100% with all my friends. But if you fuggazi,  then it's whatever Meng! Keep it moving.  I am the type of person that thinks freely and likes to express my opinions.  If you have a problem with it than why ask; it's whatever Meng!

I am hyper but know how to tame myself when needed but then afterwards it be like whatever Meng!  I am a hard worker and my job can stress me out sometimes but at the end of the day and end of the week it be like whatever Meng!

Alright Yah probably tired of this blog...so gonna end it and work on the next one cause it's whatever Meng!

Love your Favorite New Celebrity Butterfly!