WHEN SHOULD CHILDREN BE CONSIDERED PEOPLE?

While in college, one of my college professors,once asked; when should a child be considered a person?

No one ever came up with a correct answer.  Because there isn't a correct answer.  We can only go by theory.  But in reality, I feel a child should be considered a person, the minute they are brought out of the womb.

Why?  Because from the moment a child is born, he/she comes out with great expression.  Some come out of the womb screaming their lungs away.  For what reason, who knows?  What in the world could they be feeling at that very moment they enter the world?  Could it be joy that they are finally out or could it be some type of discomfort because they have entered something new for them?

However once, they are in this world.  They know how to express themselves.  They're born with that capability.  If they're hungry.....they know how to ask for food.  If they are uncomfortable...they know how to let us know.

My son led me to realize something today.  He may be 2.10 years old and he may be my spoiled toddler, but he's human.  He is a person with feelings and knows how to express it well.

He came up to me today and said...."mommy pist means mad".....in my head...honestly, I was like what the fuck does he know?  So I aksed him why does he feel that pist is the same as mad? Mind you he is only 2.10 years old.  His answer was "because right now I am pist and I am mad"...lmao..I asked him why?  Why are you feeling that way? and he said "because my sister keeps bothering me"...."can you slap her?"  ummm no...but you can ask her to leave you alone.

That little conversation between him and I, made me think.  My little boy is not a baby anymore.  He is a person with feelings and knows how to express himself well.

So yea....I believe that if you want a child to grow up with dignity and respect.  You have to let them be who they are.  We are adults....we are people....but we must consider our children....little people.  After all, age is nothing but a number.

Imagining myself creating a new garden.

• Mar 1, 2008

  Imagining myself creating a new garden.

  Current mood:inspired

  I have a beautiful garden.

  I have an ugly garden, but I want to create a new garden.

  
  

  I have an empty lot.

  I have a lot of soil and a few new seeds.

  I find myself wanting to plant these seeds.

  
  

  I desire a different surrounding of life.

  A life with less stress and worries.

  A life where I can build a better future for thyself.

  
  

  I have a beautiful garden right now, but I want a bigger and better one.  One that is more convenient for me. I have to start by planting my first seed and moving away from the old garden.

This is also from my myspace days.

• Jul 23, 2008

  HAPPY BIRTHDAY BROTHER

  Current mood:thoughtful

  Not for too that you have been gone.

  I celebrate that day we were born.

  Although you're gone, we celebrate together.

  For you are forever carried in my heart, my thoughts and my prayers.

  Gone in flesh, soul taken to heaven and alive in spirit.

  For the great memories are always kept.

  The ties that bind one in the flesh that still remains.

  Until her day is destined.

  Although I miss you, the fact that you are gone has been accepted .

  The rememberance of your smile and the happy times we spent together has all been embeded.

  The pain and suffering have all been clear.

  The memories are dear and near.

  Without a doubt you're never forgotten.

  I have learned to grow and learned to let go.

  Continued my life and learned to move on.

  Never forgetting the day we were born.

  HAPPY BIRTHDAY BROTHER.!

Something to know

The first child protecttive agency began in New York was founded in 1874 titled Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (SPCC) in 1874. The SPCC was the first organization to focus on the legal protection of children's rights in the United States. It all began with Mary Ellen.   Who was one our first recognized abused child.  Mary Ellen was a survivor of child abuse who died at the age of 92.  

THE CHILD’S MIND WANDERS

You say that you love me.

You said you will always take care of me.

You tell them I am your pride and joy.

You say that you will do anything to give me the world.

Why won't you take me outside?

Why won't you let me have any friends?

Why am I not in school like all the other children.

Mommy I am hungry, why don't you give me something to eat?

Why do you continue to endure this pain on me?

What did I ever do to deserve the things that you do to me?

Why do you let him keep on hurting?

Why do you allow him to beat you?

Why must I pay for your mistakes?

I never asked to be born.

It was your blessing from up above.

Why didn't you thank him for the life that he has given you?

When I was born, you said you loved me and give me the world.

I always wonder where things went wrong.

I loved you with all my heart, and now we're far apart.

Now you sit there crying.

While I'm in here dying.

You say everything will be alright.....too late...I am losing my sight.

Mommy what's wrong? Are you crying because I am gone?

Inspired for the many that have gone.  Inspired by the many that ACS had failed. 

Random Thoughts

So really I blog because my brain is always thinking and if i post every thought on FB; people would think like I really have diarrhea of the mouth.  Porque ju know my brain be sometimes like on wild ADHD mode.

So like back in the days, I was like wild odee shy.  Like ask my family! LML  I would never talk and just sit in the corner and do me.  Like you had to pull teeth to get something out of me. (Moma Doris  knows).  Now am like the only Social Butterfly and very expressive.  I think I was a turtle trapped in it's shell that has been let out.  Sometimes I think that I be wild bugging with the shit that comes out my mouth.  I am like the happiest hyperlest kid right now. Yea Am Still a KID AT HEART!!  But I ain't gonna front; I still have my shy moments but that is only when I meet someone for the first time.  Although I don't find that when I go into the field.  I think it's because it's my gift.

Ok! so now, let me tell you what's on mind.  So everybody knows I am a CPS and very proud.  Although sometimes I bitch and moan about shit.  I love my job! Why?! Because it's me, it's what I always wanted to do.  Pero ya van cuatro ano's que yo estoy en la misma baina.   Like I am so good at what I do! And as the the days go by; I find myself getting better and better.  Back in 2008, I was a little lost but after going under many of my people's wings; I have developed a lot of skills and grown in the field to the point that work doesn't stress me anymore.  I have learned how to pace myself and maintain myself.  Pero avece la baina que la jente hacen does sometimes get to me; but I be learning to put my feelings aside and do what I gotta do.  I have learned to keep my focus on.   OMG! I am like so proud of myself right now cause I have matured so much since I have entered the agency.  And I must say although I worked over the summer, I maintained a low case load which was something I had difficulties doing when I first started.  But that was because I had no real training and learned everything on my own.   FYI My training supervisor sucked and I am not afraid to say it to her face; therefore I am not afraid to express it here.  (My bill of rights says that I am entitled to FREEDOM OF SPEECH).  And FYI I am not slandering that person because I didn't say her name but I am entitled to express my feelings.  Perate pero I sound like wild guilty right now; oh whatever meng it's truth anyways!

So I enjoyed my summer with my low caseload and ready to tackle the school year.  The reason I say it this way is because it's really during the school year when we get the most cases.  Summer is pretty slow and quiet.

OH! SO! I really feel that I am ready for my own Unit.  In other words, I am ready to be a Supervisor and been ready cause I got mad skills.  Like I really know all the hoopla and what not.  So I be having like the only balls.  So I go to my DD and ask her when can I have my own unit.  She says when I go back to school.  Like I got a Bachelor's in Forensic Psychology and 4 years CPS experience.  What more do they want?! Oh wait she told me.  They want me to have 30 credits towards my Master's in SW; pero y que es esa baina que it gotta be disque in SW.  Like what if I want to study something else?! Oh and on top of that disque que I gotta be a Supervisor Level I before I be promoted to a Supervisor Level II.  Y la baina es que they not even hiring Supervisor Level I's .  You rarely see people getting promoted or hired to SUP I because disque we (The Agency) don't have the money to hire people for Sup I's pero we got people in our own oficina with Master's and what not que are still CPS.

Pero; I don't know.  I don't know if they even tried applying for the position o es que they stuck where they at and what not because sometimes la gencia be with their baina and shit.  Sometimes their hoopla be making me wonder.  Pero yo me quedo con lo mio.  Because at the end of the day I appreciate my job and I love what I do.  But I am definitely going to get my 30 credits and work towards getting my Unit until I become the next Commissioner of NYCCS.   Cause you know that's still my goal.

Oh yea So, back when I first started I was like lost and had no one to assist me and guide me being that my supervisor sucked; so I was forced to learn on my own.  So like 3 years ago I met a trainee and taught her some of the ropes and what not.  Once in a while I check in on her, when of course I am not very busy.  And she seems to be surviving cause she still here.  Anyways that's when it dawned on me that my agency should have like a mentoring program with us who been there long enough can mentor new workers and guide them and show them the ropes.

But a lot of them (other Cps) don't agree.  They feel like it's not our job and we don't get paid for that.  But as far as I can remember no one gets paid to be a mentor that's some volunteer shit.  Diablo pero avese I cuss too much...yo tengo que trabajar en eso.  Anyways so I am going to take initiative to start a mentoring program for new trainees...well more like I already did cause I have two mentees.  It makes me happy that I can help people out; especially out of my own free will and that they appreciate it.  I don't want no one to ever have to feel the way I felt when I first started.

There are some people that might feel some type of way about this blog as they feel some type of way because I hang with my Deputies (cause there are 3 that I roll with) and CPM's and I give my personal cell out to them because we not only colleagues but we're also semi friends! I just want to tell them IDGAF how you feel about how I feel cause this me and this is who I am always gonna be! And to those (colleagues=business) who always telling me that they disque don't mix business with pleasure. Then why yah on my facebook =(pleasure) and shit and why yah be texting=(pleasure)  me on my personal cell?! #JUST SAYING!

Anyways migente....hasta la proxima!  Thanks for reading!

Proud to be me

As a child you never know or never even bother to think of how you want your life to be.   You live life running free without a clue in mind.  Then you hit that certain age when you start to realize that you are growing and you think what do I wanna be.  But then you wanna be this and that! Now you' can't make up your mind! OK! so like yea when I was maybe like 15; I wanted to be a teacher.  But then I realized, the pay wasn't for me and certainly working with a whole bunch of disrespectful teens would put me in jail.  Nah son! By 17; I wanted to be a cop.  I believed I would be one of dique NY's finest! Passed the police exam, entered the academy and punked out after seeing a police officer get shot first day on the job.  Besides after certain incidents that occurred in my life with police involvement I began to dislike them and how could I become something that I dislike.  Shit teenagers can be so indecisive. Oh wait! I was one of those! LML.

So then there was a commercial I saw one day that went like this http://youtu.be/tDfsr1vvqy4 and then there was this acronym that Walton Ave knew; it was called something like BCW...oh wait...it was BCW.  So yeah that's what made me decide I wanted to do something in that field of Social Work!  So I decided to finish my last year of HS.

Then I tried getting into John Jay College and was accepted but unfortunately parents couldn't afford it and financial aid wasn't approved cause big daddy worked for the City! Shit! So I decided to just enjoy my youth until I figured out what to do.  But my determination never stopped...it was just put on pause.   So after enjoying my life and having my beautiful daughter, it was time to turn life back around and show my child that I could become who I wanted to be while still caring for her.  So I applied back to college, got approved for financial aid and went to College! So did my daughter cause she graduated from John Jay College pre-school.  Yea they have child care at the school.  We thought it was pretty cool that both were going to the same school.

So I finally got my B.S in Forensic Psychology in February of 2005 exactly a week after I gave birth to my beautiful baby boy! So yea like my parents say I earned two diploma's that year..LML!  Afterwards I took a couple of BS jobs cause there was a freeze on hiring CPS due to the death of Nixmary Brown.   But I patiently waited and here I am.  I remember when I got the phone call like it was yesterday.

I received the call at work.  My supervisor had picked up the phone and said "ACS is on the phone for you, wtf did you do?"  hahahaha! My response "applied for a CPS position".  Her eyes popped out her socket as well as got teary eyed cause she was happy and proud of me as she knew that this was what I have been yearning to do for a while.  And to them haters there that didn't believe that I would get in and would say ACS will never hire you.  I'm still here bitches and yea My salary is bigger than yours! (oops...)

I have been through so much experiences, trials and tribulations in my life.  And I can YELL AND SAY I AM A SURVIVOR! But I believe that everything in my life happened for a reason.  All that I experienced and encounter is what build my character and made me a stronger and more positive person.  I am grateful for all my experiences good and bad.  Everything is a lesson learned.  I may not be perfect but I am proud to be me.