Last Sunday something strange happened to me and I still wonder how things in life inexplicably happen. I was in my room resting of course after chores. It was the one day that I didn't do my nails or hair cause I was too tired. I decided to sit home and relax and watch some TV which I rarely do since Netflix came out. I started to think of Robin Williams and decided to watch some of his movies just because I had a very long week and needed some laughs. The strangest thing was right before bed I started to think of "Mork and Mindy" as well as repeating the phrase "Nanu Nanu" in my head while bursting out in laughter and wondering whatever happened to that show. I went to bed with a smile thinking about how funny Robin Williams always was and how he always made me laugh no matter how serious a movie was, there was always one piece of funny in him.
Signs:
On Monday while typing notes at work, my phone vibrated with a notification from Eye Witness News with the headline reading "Actor Robin Williams 63 found dead." At first I cleared the notification and then it hit me...wait a minute; did I just read that right. Let me open up the app! Sure enough it was what I read. I couldn't believe what I was reading. Nah this can't be true, I was just watching some of his movies yesterday and thinking of "Mork and Mindy"...."Nanu Nanu". Nah that can't be true. Next to you know I hear voices in the office "Omg, Robin Williams died"! Male voice- "Who?" Female voice-"you know, the Nanu Nanu man". Damn so it is true. SMH, I wonder what happened was all I could think of, after that.
So I come home to watch the News..."apparent suicide". Nah that can't be true, he was the funniest man alive. How can someone that appeared so happy and make people laugh...kill himself? Is that possible? But wait! I was thinking of him all night! I went to bed with a smile from all the laughter I was given by him. Made me have something special to remember, the fact that I thought of him in his gifted ways the night before I hear of his death; was his way of saying good bye to me. His death touched me in many ways. My twin died of an "apparent suicide". I still question why sometimes. What makes people take their lives so early?
When my brother died we were left with a bunch of rumors and speculations. Until this day no one really knows what happened. Fact is my brother was very different from the rest of us. He forced himself to grow up at an early age. No one ever knows what was running through his mind. Knowing who I am and how I was back then can only tell me what part of him was. I know back then I suffered from depression to the point where I ended up in a mental institution four times. One of them being after my twin passed away. I can only imagine my twin suffered the same however reacted differently.
Depression has no prejudice. People do not choose to be depressed. No one wants sadness and darkness in their life. Depression is an illness. Just like any other illness, an illness no one wants or ask for. Sometimes it just comes! Not everyone who holds a smile is a happy person. Some people know how to hide behind a smile. Like Robin Williams hid behind his comedy and making people laugh.
People really need to learn the signs and symptoms and know that there is help out there.
Julie Rodriguez ©
Signs:
- Difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions
- Fatigue and decreased energy
- Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, and/or helplessness
- Feelings of hopelessness and/or pessimism
- Insomnia, early-morning wakefulness, or excessive sleeping
- Irritability, restlessness
- Loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable, including sex
- Overeating or appetite loss
- Persistent aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems that do not ease even with treatment
- Persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" feelings
- Thoughts of suicide, suicide attempts
Depression carries a high risk of suicide. Anybody who expresses suicidal thoughts or intentions should be taken very, very seriously. Do not hesitate to call your local suicide hotline immediately. Call 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) or 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) -- or the deaf hotline at 1-800-799-4TTY (1-800-799-4889).
Warning signs of suicide with depression include:
- A sudden switch from being very sad to being very calm or appearing to be happy
- Always talking or thinking about death
- Clinical depression (deep sadness, loss of interest, trouble sleeping and eating) that gets worse
- Having a "death wish," tempting fate by taking risks that could lead to death, such as driving through red lights
- Losing interest in things one used to care about
- Making comments about being hopeless, helpless, or worthless
- Putting affairs in order, tying up loose ends, changing a will
- Saying things like "It would be better if I wasn't here" or "I want out"
- Talking about suicide (killing one's self)
- Visiting or calling people one cares about
Remember, if you or someone you know is demonstrating any of the above warning signs of suicide with depression, either call your local suicide hot line, contact a mental health professional right away, or go to the emergency room for immediate treatment.
Signs of Clinical Depressions (2012) Symptoms of Depression http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/detecting-depression
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