Change is good!

Working in an agency that is fast paced and goes through many changes... one can only accustom and accept it.  I have learned a lot about myself within the past months.  Back in 2008 when we would go through changes I became afraid and anxious cause things were new to me.  As months gone by I learned that there are always gonna be changes.  Next to you know I began finding myself getting angry and frustrated cause it was like there was way too many changes in which some I did not agree with and still don't but hey whatever gets the job done.  So I learned to accept change for what it is and move on. 

Recently we have gone through several changes and I learned that the more changes we go through the more growth I develop.  I am now accepting of any change thrown our way.  Each day I learn something new about the agency, the people I work with and especially about myself.  Although I still don't agree with some of the changes that have been made.  I accept them cause I know there is always a reason behind the change.  Eventually things do work out for the better. 

I am grateful to be working in an agency that focuses in the safety of our City's children and on strenghtening our families.  I am also grateful for the great supporters and colleagues that I have who provide constant guidance and have helped to develop my skills and maturity in this agency.

My Societal Background

LOL...I see this picture and it looks like some type of bochinche going on.  But it fits for what I am about to express.

Race - Biological categorization (hair, eyes, skin, etc.) 
Ethnicity - Group of racially similar people of similar origin 
Culture - Shared values, ideals, beliefs of a group of people regardless of race and ethnicity
Cultural Identity - Chosen or adopted culture
Nationality - What is the nation they identify as their national origin

Working at where I work and doing what I do; I have learned a lot and I have come from being naive to accepting it all.  We are all born HUMANS.  So although I am "Nuyorican".  If yah don't know a "Nuyorican" is someone born in New York whose parents were born in Puerto Rico.  My roots as I researched and my parents have answered numerous times when asked derived from Puerto Rican, Irish, Italian, African American (my pops side) and Puerto Rican, Taino and Spaniard (my moms side).  Dayuuum! Am a Mutt! Lol.  But anyways I really dislike being asked the questions what are you? (in other words what race or nationality) I always gotta be sarcastic and say HUMAN; because I am of the human race.  Really that is not an appropriate question.  I could never ask a client that.  I asked them the correct terms; what's your nationality, culture and how do you identify yourself in race?  Actually what are you? like so deserve any type of answer, especially a sarcastic one. And can also be answered with another question such as what the eff do you mean?!

So let me break it down for you.  Race- My Skin color is what I like to say beige (tan), my eyes are brown and my hair is dyed.  In other words by societal standards I am disque "White".  Ethnicity-Hispanic/Latina and I use both because I am Hispanic because I come from a culture and place of origin that speak Spanish.  Latina because I am a Spanish female with Italian roots (Italy was once under the Roman Rule and this is where the term Latino comes from).  Culture- I identify myself with Puerto Rican American.  Why, because I share the values, ideals and beliefs of both. I celebrate Christmas cause I am American but I also celebrate 3 kings day cause I am Puerto Rican.  I put up the American flag during the 4th of July cause I am American and I throw up my Puerto Rican flag basically through out the year and attend the Puerto Rican day parade cause I be like pura boricua.  Cultural Identity- I chose to identify myself with what I am Puerto Rican Irish Italian Taino Spaniard African American American Nuyorican! JUST LIKE THAT! DAS IT! Nationality - at the end of the day I am an AMERICAN! GO OBAMA!!

There you have it! Hasta la proxima!

JUST MY THOUGHTS

LIFE IS FULL OF SURPRISES...YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN.

WHETHER IT IS GOOD OR BAD IS STILL A SURPRISE.

IT'S FUNNY HOW THINGS HAPPEN AND THINGS CHANGE.

IT'S FUNNY HOW WE SAY WERE GONNA DO SOMETHING BUT WE NEVER DO IT.

OR WE SAY THAT WE NOT GONNA DO SOMETHING BUT WE END UP DOING IT.

LIFE WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS....AND WE JUST HAVE TO TAKE IT AS IT COMES.

BUT I LOVE LIFE AND I LIVE MY LIFE...THE WAY AS IT GOES...I TAKE EACH DAY FOR GRANTED.

IF THATS THE WAY GOD WANTS ME TO BE....THAN THATS THE WAY I AM GOING TO BE.

IF HE WANTS ME TO MAKE PEACE...THAN THATS WHAT I AM GOING TO DO.....IF PEOPLE DON'T LIKE IT...THAN ACT BLIND AND TURN THE OTHER WAY.

IF YOU DON'T LIKE ME.....THAN LOOK IN THE MIRROR CAUSE YOU MUST NOT LIKE YOURSELF.

IN ORDER TO LOVE SOMEONE...YOU MUST LOVE YOURSELF FIRST.

I LOVE MYSELF....SO THERE FOR I LOVE YOU.

I was just thinking.

I was just think.....thinking about the memories I can't forget.  I remember them like it was yesterday.  All the times we used to share.  All the love and care.  The happy and the joyful times.  The times when we laughed and played, when we used to chase each other all day.  Even the times that we fought and then gave it a thought as to why were we fighting to begin with.  There was a lot that we shared.  We were there for each other through think and thin.  It all started out in the womb.  Yeah we shared that too.  Damn we even did things together in there.  We laughed, cried and played in there too. 

Damn we raced in there too...we raced to see who came out first.  Guess what, I won.  I beat you by sixteen minutes, thats what I was told.  From birth to childhood everything was understood.  It was when we became teens when everything began to change.  That is when everything seemed different and we began to slightly go our seperate ways.  But no matter what we still shared our love and care.  We had a special bond no one could take away.  For you were my brother and I was your sister.  As a matter of fact...we were TWINS...nothing could bring us apart...for you will always be in my heart.

To be continued

MEMORIES

I REMEMBER THOSE DAYS, WHEN WE USED TO PLAY HIDE N SEEK.  THOSE DAYS WE RAN AROUND THE HOUSE PLAYING COPS AND ROBBERS OR WAS IT DRUG DEALERS AND FIVE O.

IT DIDN'T MATTER, WE INVENTED OUR OWN GAMES. I REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE "CHACHI THE GREATEST" AND I WAS "ANDRE THE GIANT".  YEAH A GIRL LIKE ME LOVED WATCHING WRESTLING.

OH AND THE DAYS MAMI AND DADDY WENT TO DO COMPRA AND WE TURNED OUR LIVING ROOM INTO A BASEBAL FIELD.  DAMN WE BROKE MAD FIGURAS.  BUT THATS AIIGHT...SHE GOT A WHOLE BUNCH NOW ANYWAYS. 

OH SNAP. I JUST REMEBERED HOW I WAS TALLER THAN YOU AS WE WERE KIDS AND DAMN YOU GREW TALLER THAN ME, BUT THAT WAS RIGHT BEFORE YOU PAST AWAY.  I MISS YOU.  BUT IT DOESN'T HURT ANYMORE. 

BUT DAMN IT HURT A LOT WHEN YOU LEFT THOUGH. BUT I LEARNED TO JUST LIVE EACH DAY WITH MEMORIES THAT WILL LAST A LIFETIME. BESIDES YOU ARE ALWAYS WITH ME NO MATTER WHAT.  I CARRY YOU WITH ME IN MIND AND HEART. AND NO ONE WILL BREAK THAT APART.

BITTER SWEET MEMORIES

WHEN WE MET, WE WERE GREAT FRIENDS.

ONE THING LED TO ANOTHER AND SOON WE WERE LOVERS.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH HIM, HE FELL IN LOVE WITH ME. NEXT TO YOU KNOW, WE DID THE WEDDING THING.

WE WERE IN LOVE AND IT LASTED AWHILE.

THEN ONE DAY THINGS BEGAN TO CHANGE.

OUR LOVE WAS NEVER THE SAME.

HE DID IT TO ME AND I DID IT TO HIM.

ALL WAS FORGIVEN BUT NEVER FORGOTTEN.

WE'D THOUGH TO GIVE IT A SECOND CHANCE AND IT WAS GOOD WHILE IT LASTED.

I RECENTLY FOUND OUT HE DID IT AGAIN.

AND THIS TIME AROUND, THE MAN THAT I LOVED AND THOUGHT THAT WOULD BE HERE WITH ME FOREVER, WALKED OUT OF MY LIFE.

I LOVED HIM SO AND IT HURTS SO MUCH.

HE WAS ALWAYS GOOD TO ME, I LOVED HIM WITH ALL MY HEART, WHY DID THIS OTHER ONE HAD TO GO AND BREAK US APART?

THEY SAY I SHOULD GET OVER HIM, BUT THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND. THAT THE LOVE I HAD FOR HIM IS HARD TO WITHDRAW.

I WAS ADDICTED TO HIS LOVE AND TENDERNESS. I HAD A ROUTINE IN MY LIFE WITH HIM. 

NOW EACH DAY OF MY LIFE IS FILLED WITH BITTER SWEET MEMORIES.

I SPEND MY NIGHTS THINKING OF HIM AND WONDERING WHERE DID THINGS GO WRONG. FOR THE LOVE I HAD FOR HIM WAS ALWAYS STRONG.

I MISS HIM SO MUCH, IT DRIVES ME CRAZY.

NO ONE WILL EVER UNDERSTAND MY GREAT DEPRESSION.

WHEN IT COMES TO THE BITTER SWEET MEMORIES, I FIND THAT CRYING MYSELF TO SLEEP IS THE ONLY THING THAT I CAN DO.

I KNOW HE IS NOT COMING BACK.  SO SLOWLY BUT SURELY I WILL GET OVER HIM.

MY BABIES ARE THE ONES WHO KEEP ME SANE, ALTHOUGH I KNOW THINGS WILL NEVER BE THE SAME.