DEEP THOUGHTS

I WAS BORED AND WAS THINKING, WHY DO THINGS ALWAYS GOT THE OPPOSITE WAY.

LIKE WHEN YOU ARE WAITING FOR A CAB AND THERE IS NEVER ONE AROUND AND WHEN YOU AIN'T TRYING TO TAKE ONE, THEY ALWAYS SEEM TO APPEAR OUT OF NO WHERE.

OR WHEN YOU IN A FREAKING RUSH...THE TRAIN TAKES FOREVER TO REACH YOUR STOP AND HAS MANY DELAYS BEFORE YOU REACH YOUR FINAL DESTINATION. 

AND WHEN YOU ARE NOT IN A RUSH TO GET HOME, CAUSE YOU ALREADY KNOW WHAT THE F*&*(^ IS GOING TO HAPPEN WHEN YOU GET THERE, YOU FREAKING GET THERE TOO FAST.

WHAT ABOUT THE DAYS WHEN YOU WAITING FOR THAT PERSON TO CALL AND THEY NEVER DO AND WHEN YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE OR HEAR FROM THEM, THEY FUKING POPOUT OF NOWHERE.

DO YOU EVER WONDER, MAYBE WE GIVE OURSELVES MIXED SIGNALS OR IF WE ARE RECEIVING THE WRONG SIGNS?


IT JUST DAWNED ON ME....THAT CERTAIN THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON. I BUMPED INTO MY COUSIN ON THE BUS YESTERDAY AND SHE SAID SHE HAD WENT TO THE CEMETARY WHERE MY BROTHER IS AT....WHICH IS LIKE REALLY CLOSE TO HOME.....MAYBE THERE IS A REASON WHY I WAS BROUGHT AROUND THIS AREA.

BUT IS IT SO THAT I CAN VISIT THE CEMETARY MORE OFTEN, SINCE I ALWAYS MADE EXCUSES WHEN I LIVED FAR AWAY FROM IT, OR IS IT BECAUSE MY BROTHER WANTED TO BRING ME CLOSER TO HIM....I DON'T KNOW...IT SOUNDS WEIRD....BUT I AM VERY SKEPTICAL ABOUT THINGS AND BELIEVE IN MIRACLES AND SIGNS FROM OUT OF THE ORDINARY.



THERE IS THIS DREAM, THAT I KEEP HAVING....AND IN THAT DREAM HE KEEPS TELLING ME THAT SOME DAY I WILL KNOW THE TRUTH. LIKE WHAT DOES THAT MEAN, WHAT IS THE TRUTH AND HOW WILL I KNOW IT? IF HE IS NOT HERE TO LET ME KNOW. I WONDER.

ARE DREAMS REALLY TELLING US THE TRUTH OR IS IT JUST TELLING US WHAT WE WANT TO HEAR OR SEE? WHEN GOING TO COLLEGE, ONE OF MY PROFESOR'S TOLD THE CLASS TO BECAREFUL WHAT WE WISH, FOR WISHFUL THINKING IS WRONG, BECAUSE WHAT WE WISH FOR IN THE BACK OF OUR MINDS, ALWAYS COMES OUT TRUE IN OUR DREAMS, BUT MAY NOT REALLY BE WHAT WE WANTED TO HAPPEN IN REALITY.

WHATS THE POINT? THE POINT IS IF YOU WISHED SOMEONE WAS DEAD BECAUSE YOU WERE UPSET WITH THEM, IN YOUR DREAMS, YOUR WISH WILL BE SATISFIED, BUT WHEN YOU WAKE UP AND FIND OUT THAT PERSON DIED. YOU WILL REGRET EVER WISHING THAT THOUGHT TO BEGIN WITH. GET THE POINT?

MY LIFE

LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL.

I HAVE LEARNED TO LIVE IT AND APPRECIATE IT.

I HAVE LEARNED TO APPRECIATE THOSE THAT SURROUND ME WHETHER IT BE FROM CLOSE OR FROM AFFAR.

EACH DAY THAT I BREATHE I THANK GOD, FOR GIVING ME THE EXTRA TIME TO SHARE WITH MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS, ALL THAT I HAVE TO OFFER.

I LIKE LIVING EACH DAY AT A TIME, GIVING ALL THAT I CAN GIVE.

I ENJOY MAKING OTHERS HAPPY.

I VALUE LIFE AND TAKE IT AS IT IS GIVEN TO ME.

AROUND ME...NOTHING STAYS THE SAME...EVERYTHING IS ALWAYS CHANGING.

WHILE THINGS COME TO AN END, IN OTHER AREAS, THERE IS ALWAYS A BEGINNING.

I GUESS THATS WHERE THE PHRASE, WHEN YOU LOOSE, YOU GAIN, CAME FROM.

I LOVE LIFE, I LIVE IT, I LEARN IT AND I APPRECIATE IT.

From Myspace

• Jul 24, 2007

  HAPPY BIRTHDAY TWIN

  Current mood:happy

  I JUST ADMIRING THE MEMORIES OF THE TIMES WE USED TO CELEBRATE OUR BIRTHDAY'S TOGETHER.  THOSE WERE THEY USED TO DRESS US THE SAME COLORS AND WHEN WE HAD OUR OWN LIL CAKES...YOURS HAD BLUE FLOWERS AND MINE HAD PINK.

  AS WE GOT OLDER WE KEPT THE TRADITION....WE WORE THE SAME COLORS AND WORE THE SAME SNEAKERS...EXCEPT WE DID WHAT EVER WANTED THROUGH OUT THE DAY TOGETHER, THEN GO HOME....BUT THIS TIME TO ONE MEDIUM SIZED PINK AND BLUE FLOWER CAKE THAT HAD BOTH OUR NAMES ON IT.

  THATS WHEN WE BEGAN TO BE GREADY AND ASKED WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR OWN CAKES.  BUT THATS ALSO WHEN IT WENT FROM RECEIVING TOYS AS GIFTS TO RECEIVING MONEY.....AND THE NUMBERS GOT BIGGER AS WE GOT OLDER.

  THOSE WERE THE GOOD OLD DAYS.  AS I CELEBRATE ON MY OWN.  I CARRY YOU EVERYWHERE I GO.  AS THEY GIVE ME I ALWAYS ASK WHERE IS YOUR HALF...LOL...BUT IT DOESN'T WORK.....EITHER WAY YOURS IS ALWAYS CELEBRATED IN MY HEART AND MIND.

  I SOMETIMES ASK MYSELF....WHAT WOULD WE BE DOING, IF YOU WERE STILL AROUND....WOULD WE BE CELEBRATING IT WEARING THE SAME COLORS AND SNEAKERS...WOULD WE STILL BE DOING WHATEVER WE WANTED TOGETHER AND THEN GO HOME TO RECEING ONE CAKE FROM MOM AND DAD AND OUR OWN CAKES FROM OUR NEW FAMILY MEMBERS....WHO KNOWS?

  EITHER WAY....I KNOW WE WOULD HAVE MADE THE EFFORT TO SEE EACH OTHER.  OH DAMN I WAS SUPPOSED TO WORK TODAY...BUT GUESS WHAT?  I TOOK THE DAY OFF....I'M GOING THROUGH TO VISIT YOU.....SEE YOU AT THE CEMETARY....HAPPY BIRTHDAY TWIN!

Julie 101

JULIE'S THE NAME.

WORK IS IN MY NATURE.

FAMILY IS MY LIFE.

LOVE IS IN MY AIR.

AND MYSPACE IS MY GAME.

CALL ME AN ADDICT.

CALL ME A PHEAN.

ALL IN ALL IS ALL ABOUT ME.

DON'T HATE.

DON'T TRY TO IMITATE.

JUST GET OFF MY PLATE.

FOR THOSE FOOLS POP OFF....CAUSE I'M BRUSHING THESE SHOULDERS OFF.

RANDOM POETRY

SHE'S DROWING IN HER OWN WATER.

LIVING IN HER OWN MISERABLE WORLD.

THE DREAMS SHE HAS, SEEMS TO ALWAYS FALL APART.

SHE SEARCHES FOR THE PERFECT LOVE.

WITH HER DISTRUST FOR OTHERS AND DISLOYAL BEHAVIORS, THINGS NEVER SEEM TO WORK.

MAYBE SHE NEEDS TO SEARCH WITHIN HERSELF AND LOVE HERSELF FIRST, BEFORE SHE PUTS HERSELF OUT THERE FOR OTHERS.

SHE'S LIKE A NAKED WOLF HOWLING FOR ATTENTION.

IT'S A SPLIT PERSONALITY.  SHE BATTLES WITH HERSELF.

THE GOOD AND THE EVIL.  EVIL ALWAYS CONTROLLING HER EMOTIONS.

HER BETTER HALF SEEMS TO ALWAYS WONDER AWAY.

SHE TRY'S TO CONTROL HER DELLUSIONAL SENSE OF BEING.

SHE'S TRAPPED WITH THE FOUR CORNERS AND LAYERED SIDES.

IMPRISONED FOR THE CRIME SHE COMMITTED.

SHE BURRIES HERSELF BETWEEN THE SHEETS AND PILLOWS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW HER MISERY ALL BEGAN.

IF SHE ONLY NEW THE SORROWS OTHER'S ENDURE.

FOR HER BETTER HALF IS NO LONGER IN EXISTENCE.

SHE LIVES IN A WORLD OF HER OWN.

CREATING A SENSE OF REALITY.

FACING THE TRUTH OF HER WHEREABOUTS.

FOR SHE NEVER IMAGINED LIVING IN AN IMPERFECT WORLD.

[(ENJOY!) UNTIL NEXT.]

If and Because

If and Because

If it weren't for you, I'd be lost.

If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be here.

If it weren't for you, I wouldn't know what to do.

If it weren't for you, I couldn't find an answer.

If it weren't for you, I'd still be depressed.

If it weren't for you, I couldn't go on.

If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have a friend.

Because of you, I've been found.

Because of you, I'm still here.

Because of you, I am able to do anything.

Because of you, I can find my answers and solutions.

Because of you, I am relieved of stress.

Because of you, I no longer feel depressed.

Because of you, I can go on.

Because of you, I have a friend.

Because of you, I am loved.

Because of you, I am me.

You love me and I love you.

Because of you, I have someone to look up to.

Because of me, this poem is made possible for you.

I have become to be me, because of you. Thatis why I appreciate you.

To my Doris, with all my heart!  Thank You for everything you have ever done for me.  I love you! My Dear Godmother!

LOST IN THE DARK

SHE'S ONLY 11 AND HER WORLD IS QUIKLY TURNING UPSIDE DOWN.

BELIEVING IT'S ALL A DREAM.  ONLY TO SEE SHE'S BOUND TO REALITY.

SEEKING TO FIND THE SIGNIFICANCE OF HER BEING.

KNOWING THAT THINGS ARE GOING ON, THAT ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN.

HER VOICE IS KEPT SILENT.

FEAR IS DEEPLY GROWING INSIDE OF HER.

DAYS GO BY AS SHE OPENS HER EYES TO REALITY.

THERE SHE STRUCK, SUICIDAL IDEATIONS.

SHE'S SURROUNDED BY CLUELESS PEOPLE NOT KNOWING WHAT'S GOING ON.

FINDING HERSELF IN A WORLD OF HER OWN LIVING IT ALL ALONE.

YEARS GO BY AND SHE'S LOST IN THE DARK.

14 YEARS OLD AND HER INNOCENCE RIPPED APART.

HER WORLD IS SLOWLY FALLING APART.

WHY DID IT ALL BEGIN? WHEN IS IT EVER GOING TO END?

SHE'S LOST CONTROL OF HERSELF, EMOTIONS HAVE TAKEN PART.

SHE'S COMPLETELY LOST IN THE DARK.